Embracing Who I Am–Beyond Adoption and Reunion

My Mom, Me and Dad…Unknown man holding me.

Adopted or Not Adopted?

This is a very uneasy subject for me as I am not sure how some members of my family will react when I share with them that I am adopted; specifically, the one’s I am researching on my parent’s tree. (adopted)

I also am concerned how my birth mother will deal with the issue surrounding my adoption as I embrace and fully express who I am through my writings and my genealogical research. There is so much healing that needs to happen with her.

My Parents and My brother Marshall

I am more than my Adoption, and it is at this time, today, that I choose to really embrace me!  I choose to share my story, I choose to accept and embrace all of me; Not just the part of me that keeps everyone in my family comfortable.  How long am I to keep others comfortable?  I know I was supposed to be swept under the rug?  I am here though…Now what do you do with me?  

 Being Adopted in and of itself is not difficult for me, because frankly, I do not have a problem with having parents that could take care of me….I feel totally blessed.

2.5 years in sandbox

However, there has been times that I have cringed at the thought of telling family members that I have recently united with that I am adopted. I fear that if I share with them my status, they will think, “What authority does she have to be the family historian and researcher?”  

I do my genealogy out of Love of both of my parents Walter and Betty Porter, who raised me.  When they adopted me, everything they had became mine.  I am a part of them as they are a part of me.  I feel that my adoption was predestined.

3 years old at Preschool

I was adopted at four months old by  loving, hard-working,  wonderful parents who provided for me well into adulthood.  These two people are my parents.  Then I have parents that birthed me into this world.   I want to know the four sides of my Roots. I have a concept that my birth family are my Biological Roots and my family that adopted me are my Spiritual Roots.

My birth search began when I was 18 years old.  My parents were supportive of my desire to know, but really were not interested in the details as they felt that I was their daughter, and I believe there might have been some fear that they might lose me.  Of course that did not happen.  I had to be true to myself.  I felt that is was very important to know who I was and to know something about my background. 

I had the opportunity to meet my birth mother when I was twenty-one.  Even though there had been a lack of contact over the years, nonetheless, we did keep in contact.  I would love to have a close relationship with my birth mother, but only time will tell.

My Mother and Brother Marshall who also was adopted

I met my birth father’s family, and I feel very connected to them. There are times I  feel that I am not connected enough. They have always embraced me, and made me feel that I belong in this family. It has been Eighteen Years since I found my Father’s family and Twenty years since I found my Mother. It is so difficult being the new “One.” I don’t think they see it like that, but I have to learn everyone’s names, faces, and not to mention the children get older, have children of their own and the vicious cycle begins….Who Are YOU Folks????

My Sister (Found her at 24 years old)

There are times I feel like I missed out on them but they missed out on me too. 

Discovering who you are is not for the weak because it really can be a roller coaster.

The other reason I am sharing is because I am going to begin sharing my Birth Families Research, Pictures, and Documents.  It is time I Embrace Me, and I hope I can take you on my Journey.

My Family on my Father’s Side (Birth Family)

The Terms I use Birth, Adopted, etc, does not make anyone less than.  It is so others will be able to follow.  I know for a fact my Birth Mother does not like that term because it makes it seem that we can not be close, but how do I differentiate?  

3 thoughts on “Embracing Who I Am–Beyond Adoption and Reunion

  1. As your sister, I can truly say that I am truly blessed to have in my life. Thanks for searching for our father. I love you very much and we are very much connected!

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